talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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