Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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