1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
