My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
