Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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