if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
