THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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