Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
