So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
