Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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