I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
