he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
