This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
