Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Randomize
