also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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