Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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