That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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