DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
honey bunches of taint.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
So many bounce houses so little time
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
