No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
