end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
