I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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