Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
