Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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