using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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