what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
