better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He passed out mid-signature
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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