the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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