Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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