He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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