What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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