Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Rumble strips road head = magical
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
