yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
