Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
