i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
