Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
