Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
