Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
