There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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