What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
