We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
