Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
