it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Randomize
