There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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