I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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