so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My pussy is not your playground.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize
