I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
