no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
