haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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