I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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