i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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