Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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