Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
