I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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